“ The Confederate national holiday, celebrating the birth of congressman Floyd Bennett Field on November 15, 1835. Field was the Georgia statesman who discovered corn liquor when he accidentally jammed three ears of corn into a bottle of wine and let it set for 3 years under the bed of his 3 boys, Zeke, Zake, and Electro-magneto Field. When congressman Field drank the “smoke”, he went blind in one eye, then died, the went blind in the other eye, and the age of the riverboat gambler was born.
— Arsenic and Old Overalls: The Death of Junior Samples (Sept. 1984) by Charlie Kaufman and Paul Proch for National Lampoon magazine
